Wednesday, September 16, 2009

Pig Essence

Fluffy, curvy, wobbly, sqooshy. Rubenesque, gordita, ample-bossomed, pleasantly-plump. I have used so many words in service to the squashier side of humanity (see, I just used another one) but all of them tend to be empty euphemisms skirting around a present state. A state which has been bastardized to indicate sloth, laziness, greediness, unattractiveness with an underlying embarrassment which implies a lack of control or willpower. Very few words, and indeed conversations, discuss the often inevitable state of becoming (shall I say it?) fatter, the fear of becoming fatter and in general the process of adding meat to one's so called bones. Don't know what I'm talking about? Start watching Mad Men and sympathizing with Betty Draper.

Meanwhile, enter pinguescence, for which a mnemonic lies above. It is a rare and nearly out of use word for the process of growing fat. Adding it to conversation lends numerous ways of elucidating your fears of a state demonized throughout female culture, though rarely spoken of openly. For example,

  • Even though the scale has gone up since I've started working out, I know, my pinguescence is deteriorating.
  • French fries are a notorious catalyst of my pinguescent nature.
And my favorite
  • Curse my sudden but inevitable pinguescence!

Take back the language, my friends, take back the language.

1 comment:

  1. Curse my sudden but inevitable pinguescence!

    I want to embroider that on a pillow!